Tuesday, November 27, 2007
i have broken up... haiz...
PUKED;
03:41
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
hai.... n i tot things will b better... i feelin lik shit now lor. i cooked ling yang for her, bring to tp w 2 big apples dunno how she feels oso. things got quite "sian" on the phone, lik nth much to tok. i have no idea how to make it better?
somehow i can feel tt she has an answer in her alrdy, i dunno m i over-sensitive. hope i m wrong, but usually i m nv wrong.
toked to my brothers, buddies n mummy. heard many advice, i realli would to fight for wat i 1. i realli wish she can give mi a chance to take care of her, not sentence mi death with lettin mi try. i dunno how can i do tt... jus try ba...
我要的,我站起来争取.
PUKED;
23:01
Monday, November 19, 2007
finally heart to heart chat w bao bei... feels better by alot. frds, brothers n buddies thankz for listening to mi whining... i m glad u all are there..
now i can only wait for her ans, but i noe i can still traet her well. think tt's enuff for now ba...
even though how much i love n wanna take care of her, her smile is everything to mi now...
i think i will heed zhen's advices
i think now i will b able to and need to mug le ba...
wait n will cherish every moment i have with her. =)
PUKED;
01:40
Sunday, November 18, 2007
2day i m weak tired + sianz.......
last nite i went to find her, sort of tok things out n feed the urge to see her. is then then i noe tt is acty her parents pressuring her, she wun b happy to do something if she dun receive blessing from ppl. i jus dun wish to see her sad, her smile means everything to mi... i dun wanna pressurize her nor see her sad even though how much i love her n wanna take care of her.
she said "i dun wanna make a decision, cos i will disappoint 1 party(mi or her parents)" i rather i m disappoint.
but somehow i think she has an answer sub-conciously....
i feel so helpless now i noe something is not right where i cant do anything.
HOW??
does it mean i will get her attention if something happens to mi? but i dun1 this kind of attention.
nxt wk is MST n PL cup 2nd round. wonder will b she able to see at least 1 game? i wish she can b there support mi 1 last time. i dunno when will she b there to support mi again.
how i wish i could get drunk n dun think so much, but tt's not gonna solve the problem.
i love her... i wanna be w her.... but the more i wan her to be happy. smiling laughin n not tryin to get stuck in to work coz she dun1 to think
ARGHHHHHHHHHH..............!!!!!!!!!!
PUKED;
16:25
Saturday, November 17, 2007
for a moment i thought everything is fine... but wen we go out ytd she was lik sian sian de, i feel v bad seeing her lik tt oso. she was so bubbly, cheerful n full of laughters. but ytd... not any close. she is sick ytd, i wanna do something her. haiz... HOW??
i m goin crazy, realli goin crazy.
if feels damn xing ku.
i love her and wanna take care of her.
things plz get better for the both us, how can i do it?
PUKED;
12:21
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
phew.... for a moment i thought everything is so gonna end. when i saw her sms " dear, all the best for ur game" everythings feels so light.
tt's more than enuff le....
jus need her to b there....
PUKED;
23:51
HOW? I REALLI NEED TO NOE HOW?
i jus put the down the phone, it feel pretty weird. it was even weird for mi to call her baby liaoz.. sianz...
the way she tok abit change le, she dun call mi "dear" anymore, i dunno wat is she thinkin now...
somehow i wish i can realli meet her n tok to her, but i m afraid she might jus leave mi. i dun want her to leave mi. i realli feel damn xing ku when i alone, thoughts ran wild. if i din go out w my bros 2day, i think i would had been worse.
my bros tell mi to go meet a while after sch for dinner and send her home, i wish i could do so. but i m hafin labtest this wk n MST nxt wk. FYP no progress n andrew is freakin makin noise at mi. sch is not only FYP + i haf other commitments, but then again yong zhen is oso doin the
same thing jus tt i hafin problem w coping.
i think tt's y sacrifice is needed....
i need to see her soon.
or at least i need a chance from her....
i noe she definately will mind as i m her 1st bf.
haix...
all i noe is i need her...
some1 plz tell mi how?
PUKED;
00:53
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
i m feeling hollow, empty and weak(sick last nite)now, lik as if something has been taken away. i m not sure wat will happen. all i noe is i want her n i need, but i dunno wat else can i do.
i m alrdy missing even though i jus toked to her on the phone last nite.
PUKED;
11:27
Monday, November 12, 2007
too many things happen, need a long post to say it all out.
i got attached with W, happy with her.
but things happened, i think she quited bothered by wat i said. she told mi she is very affected by her parents words. her parents told her to think through if she wants this r/s.
she sound different jus now, no longer tokin. she tell mi prolly jus tt she is tired, but i can feel tt she has something in mind. i noe i had a messy past, but... haiz.. i realli dunno how to say.
i wanna b w her AND i want her to be happy.
no matter wat i want her to be cheerful n happy lik she always is.
PUKED;
22:12